My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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