is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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