dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
