Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
