im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize