return my video game
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
