I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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