Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
