I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
