Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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