you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
this hospital has no fireball
Is this like a preordered booty call?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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