U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
