Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
