yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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