called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
