I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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