We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
