She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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