it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Why did my mother make you get naked?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
