you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
sex in a hospital.. check
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize