I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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