So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
