is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
