she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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