I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
