That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Randomize
