I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I would fuck him just for his dog
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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