Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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