I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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