my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
