why didn't you poke me back
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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