I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
