You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
