Pappa wants mamma naked
This girl is more easily done than said...
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
