Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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