You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
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