Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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