I cockslap morals
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
