did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
