she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
