This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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