No stitches, just platelets and will power
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
