She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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