The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
