Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
