'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Randomize
