Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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