so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize