More tranny stories later!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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