Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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