It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
