Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Never underestimate the power of titties
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
