it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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