yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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