I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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