Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
