You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
