was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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