Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Randomize
