it was like fucking gandolphs beard
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
